christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip
unpacks 3 months after coming home
a diagram explaining my viewing habits
if you see me laughing while texting there’s a 99.9% chance i’m laughing at a text message i sent because i’m equal parts vain and hilarious
sexual orientation: powerful female antagonists
DREAM DATE: take me to barnes and noble, give me $500, leave.
DREAM DATE: Take me to LUSH, give me $500, leave.
DREAM DATE: Give me $500 dollars. Leave.
DREAM DATE: Paypal me $500. Never be physically within 100 miles of me.